Week 6 Lab

Writers Write Notes:

10 Dialogue Errors to Avoid at All Cost (link)

• This article was really eye opening to me. One of the tips the article provided was to read your story out loud. I actually want to add to this tip. If you get super distracted (like me) and you lose focus while reading out loud (uhh definitely me), you can copy and paste your story into Microsoft Word. There is a function on there that will read the paper out loud. That was you can sit back and just listen. If something sounds off, go in and fix it! The other tips in the article really focused on characters and their dialogue. I will definitely come back to this because of that. I really struggle with making dialogue sound natural. It will definitely take some practice, so I will need to play around with it some more. 

20 Myths to Use as Writing Prompts (link)

(20 Prompts for Writing Myths by Writers Write)

• While this article may not prove helpful for my storybook, it will definitely be a great source of ideas for other stories. The article is pretty short and list 20 great questions. By brainstorming answers to these questions, a great story may play out! I remember reading someone's story in this class. In the story they explained why snow has this wonderful connotation to it, but thunder and lighting are loud and scary. This writing prompt list has several prompts just like that (including those three too)! My favorite is creating a story on why flowers lose their leaves. 

7 Things to Avoid When Writing for Children (link)

• Since I am writing a children's book for my storybook I just had to read this article! I am glad I did too. One of the biggest things I kept changing in my storybook stories were the bad guys. I would just remove the bad and the sad because I didn't think that would be good for children. The article reminded me about literally all of the villains in every childhood movie and book. The bad guys emphasis the good guys. I will have to rethink some of my stories because I definitely think it is good to add a villain after this article. The article also said things like:
• Don't make them wait for the excitement/ don't drag out the beginning
• Don't preach 
• USE PICTURES
• And don't underestimate them

Reading Notes: The Life of Buddha, Part B

Notes: Life of Buddha Part B

(Maya by Wikipedia)

Names:

KEY NAMES ARE HIGHLIGHTED

Mahaprajapati

• The woman who raised Siddhartha (Buddha)
• His maternal aunt
• “The great patroness of all beings” 

Siddhartha

• Buddha
• Means "one who has accomplished a goal"

Gopa

• means cow herder 
• wife of Siddhartha

Chandaka

• means Charioteer of Buddha

Kanthaka:

• white horse of Siddhartha

Arata Kalama 

• teacher of the the doctrine of renunciation
• does not teach Siddhartha

Sakra

• means from India
• Some kind of god "He is like a God, like Sakra or Brahma himself."

Brahma

• The Hindu god Brahma is the creator and director of the universe
• Means "growth, expansion, creation"
• depicted with four heads and four arms 

Vimbasara

• King of Rajagriha

Rudraka

• famous hermit, son of Rama
• Rudraka's disciples: Kaundinya, Asvajit, Vashpa, Mahanaman and Bhadrika

Maya

• Siddhartha's mother
• Has several meanings in different culture, but generally means good, feminine, and a mother of power, click here for more info

Asita

• means “Tranquil; dark, blue; warm, hot”.
• was a hermit who predicted Siddhartha's good and successes 

Svastika

• the reaper

Mara

• the Evil One
• means bitter and strength

(Rajagriha by Wikipedia)

Cities mentioned:

Kapilavastu: where King Siddhartha and Maya lived
Magadhi
Rajagriha
Nairanjana

Unknown words: 

• beatitude: supreme blessedness

• dejection: sad and depressed state

• espied: to have caught sight of

• obdurate: stubbornly refuse to change opinion, hard headed

• donned: to have put on

• equerry: an officer

• abstemious: not self indulgent (especially with food and drink) 

• hermitage: dwelling of a hermit 

Bibliography: 

The Life of Buddha: Part B by Andre Ferdinand Herold. Website: Mythology and Folklore UN-Textbook

Reading Notes: Life of Buddha Part A

Notes: Life of Buddha 

(Birth of Buddha: from Wikipedia)

Beautiful Sentences:

This story is chuck full of beautiful sentences and I wanted to focus on them: 

"Promise me that my life will not end in death, that sickness will not impair my health, that age will not follow my youth, that misfortune will not destroy my prosperity"...Solemn as Meru mountain, the prince said to his father: "If you can not promise me these four things, do not hold me back, O father. When some one is trying to escape from a burning house, we should not hinder him.

• This is an extremely powerful sentence. He is asking his father to do the impossible in order to make him stay. It really emphasizes if you want something done you must go do it. There is a great analogy at the end about escaping from a burning house. 

ONE day, someone spoke in the presence of the prince and told how the grass in the woods had become a tender green and the birds in the trees were singing of the spring, and how, in the ponds, the great lotuses were unfolding. Nature had broken the chains that winter had forged, and, around the city, those gardens so dear to young maidens were now gaily carpeted with flowers. 

• This sentence sounds very poetic. I do not think I will use this same structure, but I do love the way it sounds and the drama it adds. This sentence also describes the setting very well. I love the part about nature breaking the chains of winter. This was a great use of personification. 

 And like fire fanned by an auspicious wind, like the moon, queen of the stars in the luminous skies, like the morning sun rising over the mountains in the East, Siddhartha grew in strength and stature.

• Great comparison of the Sun rising to the growth of a child! Great idea for another story!

She found a rare tree, the branches drooping under their burden of blossoms. She went up to it; gracefully extending her hand, she drew down a branch. Suddenly, she stood very still. She smiled, and the maidens who were near her received a lovely child into their arms.

• So while this sentence is beautiful, I just find it humorous that birth is so easy and painless. 

Ceaseless melody was borne on the wind, exquisite flowers rained from the sky

• Again with ideas for descriptions: flowers rained from the sky.

Unknown words: 

• omnipotence: quality of having great power
• repair: frequently visiting a place or going to a place
• veneration: great respect 

Likes:

• Simple to follow language and story
• Plethora of lessons 
• The use of personification and detail in setting 

Things I would change/ story ideas: 

• Less dialogue
• Use of animals telling the story
• Twist the ending, perhaps the father becomes cynical and corrupt? 

Bibliography: 

The Life of Buddha: Part A by Andre Ferdinand Herold. Website: Mythology and Folklore UN-Textbook

Review

(Making the Leap: Grant Snider)

I though this picture was really relevant to me this week. There is never a perfect time or the best conditions, you just have to get some moxie in you and get it done (excluding sky diving or any kind of fall from a great height i.e. diving.....that just isn't me). For the video, I watched  Yaara | Anthem. I think it was a great music video that stressed the importance of kindness to all. Anti-Discrimination and kindness is something I am really passionate about so I loved the music video. Plus it sounded great! 

Week 5 Story: The Tale of King Rhampsinitus' Son-in-Law

 The Tale of King Rhampsinitus' Son-in-Law

Author's Note: 
This story is based off of The Tale of King Rhampsinitus from Egyptian Myth and Legend Part B (link here). The original story is told in third person as a narrated story. I wanted to experiment with telling the story in a different way, so I decided to tell it as a dialogue. My story takes place three months after The Tale of King Rhampsinitus. In the story the brother, Peter, has escaped his ex wife and moved away. He is trying to find a new job, but is having difficulty being hired because in The Tale of King Rhampsinitus he murders his brother after they rob King Rhampsinitus and get caught. This story is told during an interview between and interviewer and Peter. 

(Interview: picture by Elegant Themes)

Interviewer: Hi, welcome Peter! 

Peter: Hi it is so nice to meet you, thank your for this opportunity! 

Interviewer: Well Peter lets just jump into it okay. Tell me a little about yourself and why you are applying for our company? 

Peter: Well I am originally from Egypt and I have been working for a construction company over there for the past few years. I made the move a few months ago after my wife and I got a divorce. I worked with her father and while he loved me, she would have probably killed me if I stuck around. That is besides the point thought. I have a mother back in Egypt and I had a brother and father who recently passed away. I feel as if this job can be my second chance. 

Interviewer: I am so sorry for your loss, that must have been really hard on you. But since you brought it up, when we ran a background check on you....on file you have been convicted for murder once and have been convicted for robbery numerous times. I don't know how seriously your other job took it, but it is very difficult for us to hire someone with that kind of record. What exactly happened?

Peter: Oh it was not that serious. My father told my brother and I to rob my future boss's cellar as his dying wish. My brother and I robbed him several times, but in all honesty he should have caught us a lot sooner, he wasn't great at defense. Anyways, it was kinda a joke to us until my boss set out some traps in his cellar. They were huge and my brother stepped in one. It literally cut his foot to the bone and he was stuck bleeding out. To keep our identity a secret he asked me to chop his head off. He was kinda dramatic about the whole thing......but ...I cut his head off. Thats why I apparently committed murder. 

Interviewer:...........did your boss never know?

Peter: Oh no he definitely knew, but he didn't want to press charges. It is actually a funny story. He hung my brothers body up in the city to see who would mourn him. Well that part isn't funny, my mom was devastated. So devastated that she told me to go fetch his body in secret. So I did. I got the guards trashed on some of the wine from the cellar and took the body home. My boss was pissed and he sent my ex wife, his daughter, to get me to confess. She was so pretty and I wanted to impress her so I told her everything. When she tried to grab me I slipped away. My boss was so impressed with my cunning abilities that he forgave me and asked me to marry his daughter. 

Interviewer: How long had y'all been together before the split?

Peter: Oh me and my ex wife.......dang.....maybe 3 months. She really hated me for what I did. So much so that she ran away for about two months of that time. She said we could either get a divorce and I move, or she would kill me. 

Interviewer: Okay...oh my gosh....so how did you grow from that experience?

Peter: Um grow? I don't know.....I got great at sneaking around 

Interviewer: Well Peter, due to your history we cannot hire you, but I know a couple of guys who deal with robbery and murder if you want to talk to them?

Peter: That would be great! Who are they?

Interview: They are the police department.

Peter: Thank you, but I could never be a police officer.

Ex Wife: Oh not a police officer...... after that confession I was thinking you would be a great inmate. 


Bibliography: 

Egyptian Myth and Legend Part B by Donald Mackenzie. Website: Mythology and Folklore UN-Textbook

Reading Notes: Egypt Part B

Notes: Egypt Part B....The Tale of King Rhampsinitus

(Hieroglyphics by Wiki Commons)

Plot Stand Outs:

The plot of this story had many twist and turns. One of the major plot twist was in the beginning when one of the two brothers gets trapped within the chamber and the other brother must cut off his head to protect his family's identity. The other big plot twist was at the end when King Rhampsinitus offered the brother his daughter as a wife for his cunning abilities. 

The ending was fairly quick paced so if I was to retell the story I would make it not only clearer, but also extend it slightly to offer a more in-depth explanation. 


Point of View:

The story is written in third person, which is beneficial to get across all the details and switch characters as needed. The author used direct quotes and also explaining character's thoughts. Good examples include when the brother's are talking to one another they use dialogue to convey what they feel and think. The mother does not have dialogue, but the reader is informed how sad she is and that she is grieving. The reader is then informed of the demands of the mother to the son to retrieve the brother's body. 

If I were to retell the story I may utilize first person point of view. It may be fun to tell the story from the mother's perspective or even the daughter of King Rhampsinitus. 


Possible Changes:  

While the story was great (awesome plot, lots of drama, and straight to the point), it seems a little gory to me. While I may keep the gory events, because they do play critical parts in the story, I may just remove emphasis on them.

• Story told from the daughter of King Rhampsinitus: She watches her father get robbed, she asks the brother what horrible thing he has done, she attempts to trap him but he gets away, her father is impressed and she must marry him. She may not be happy to marry him and then runs away. It could be in letter format to her mother or sister. 

Bibliography: 

Egyptian Myth and Legend Part B by Donald Mackenzie. Website: Mythology and Folklore UN-Textbook

Reading Notes: Egypt Part A

Notes: Egypt Part A

(The Goddess Isis: by Wikipedia)

Characters:

• Nu: oldest God, primeval waters

• Khepera: God of the rising sun, Re

• Ra: God of the sun, son of Nu, King of the Gods (the Pharaoh)

• Tum: God of Earth, first living man, father of the twins 

• The Twins: in the constellations in heaven (Gemini?)

• Shu: Wind God

• Tefnut: Goddess of moisture, "who had the head of a lioness and was called "The Spitter" because she sent the rain"

• Seb: Earth God

• Nut: Goddess of the sky, personification of the heavens

• Isis: Goddess of fertility, magic, death, and rebirth. Wife of Osiris, they have a son Horus

• Osiris: reign over dead 

• Horus: sky and war God, "left eye was the sun and the right eye the moon" 

• Hathor: Ra's female counterpart. Depicted with cow features 

• Shu: God of the atmosphere

• Solar: underworld god, "with three human heads, a serpent's body, and mighty wings between which appears his hawk form"

• Set: God of war and chaos 

• Thoth: God of writing and moons

• King Khufu: second pharaoh of fourth dynasty 

(Egyptian Family Tree: by Pinterest)

Unknown words: 

• Byblos: old kingdom of Egypt
• Silvern: old term for silver
• Apep: Egyptian spirit for the great Night serpent an devil
• Handmaidens: personal maid/ female servant 
• Elephantine: resembles characteristics of an elephant
• Lapis lazuli: dark. metamorphic rock
• Heliopolis: major city in ancient Egypt 

Likes:

• Character development 
• The back story to every character and how it played into their personality and interactions
• The use of personification and detail in setting 

Dislikes: 

• Very confusing at first due to all the names being thrown at you at once
• Difficult to follow along because characters are both personifications and human
• Not clear path in story/ no clear story
• Language semi difficult 

Bibliography: 

Egyptian Myth and Legend Part A by Donald Mackenzie. Website: Mythology and Folklore UN-Textbook

Storybook Plan

Story sources

• The Sky: brief run down on constellations, mythology, galleries, links, news, and reference guides about all things astronomy
• Constellation Legends: condensed guide of multiple constellations and their mythology in relation to greek mythology
• Wikipedia: wealth of information on various constellations and legends other than Greek mythology

Stories I want to include (link here)

• The Big and Little Bear
• The Swan in the Sky
• The Immortal Wolf 

Storytelling style

This will be a collection of stories for children and therefore the style of the book will reflect that. The language will be simplistic and dramatic. There will be lessons in each story that are positive. These lessons will not connect, nor will the stories directly connect with one another. With that said, all stories will explain constellations in the sky. Some stories will have more of an emphasis on Greek mythology while some will have an emphasis on Native American legend. 

Main ideas

• Constellations 
• Greek and Roman Mythology
• Dramatic tellings of how the stars came to be

Comment Wall

Star Stories

Hey there! Thanks for reading my story:)

(Milky Way: by ZalanHU Design)

Week 4 Story: Sancus and the Dog

Author's note: This is a retelling of Mercury and the Woodman from Aesop (Winter) Part B. The Aesop is a collection of short children's stories that are all followed by a lesson to be learned. The purpose of the story is to show that honesty is the best policy. Mercury is the God of merchants and in the originally story a Woodman ask him to return an axe he has lost in a river. In my story I changed the characters to Sancus, the God of honesty, and Dog. Both the Dog and the Woodman loose something, and are rewarded by their honesty. 

(Dog and the Bone: by Creative Commons)

Once there was a Dog who was gnawing on his bone under a big shady tree. As he continued to gnaw, he grew thirsty and he and his bone went to a nearby river. When he set down the bone to take a drink, the bone fell into the river. The Dog whined and howled to Sancus. Sancus heard these whines and howls and emerged over the river. 

"I will do anything for you to return my bone Sancus."

"No fear Dog, I shall return you your bone from the depths of the river."

Sancus dived into the river and pulled out a gold bone.

"Is this your bone Dog?"

"No it is not, I cannot claim such a fine bone."

Sancus set the bone at the dog's paws and dived back into the river. Sancus pulled out a silver bone. 

"Is this your bone Dog?"

"No it is not, I cannot claim such a fine bone."

Again Sancus set the bone at the dog's paws and dived back into the river. Sancus pulled out the dog's bone. 

"Is this your bone Dog?"

"Yes Sancus, thank you so much, I am forever grateful."

The Dog picked up the bone and began to walk away.

"Dog, please take all three bones. It is a gift for your honesty."

"Thank you Sancus, I do not deserve them, but I shall do as you say and be infinitely grateful"

The Dog went back under the big shady tree with his three bones. Several other dogs passed the Dog and asked where he found such fine bones.

The Dog would respond to every dog the same. "I was gifted these bones by Sancus when I dropped my old bone in the river."

Many dogs went to the river that day and dropped their bones in the river. There whined and howled to Sancus. Sancus heard these whines and howls and emerged over the river. 

"Great Sancus, I will do anything to have by bone back" 

"No fear, I shall return your bone from the depths of the river" 

Sancus would dive into the river and pull out the gold bone. He would ask if this was their bone and they would confirm it was indeed. 

"This is no bone of yours, you lie and have broken my trust."

Sancus would then disappear again and again and take the gold bone. He never returned any bone from the many dogs. All the dogs passed by the Dog's large shade tree empty handed and filled with anger and sadness.

Always be honest 

Bibliography:

The Aesop For Children: Winter, translated by unknown, located from UN-Textbook. 

Reading Notes: Aesop (Winter) Part B

Notes: Aesop (Winter) Part B

(The Bear and the Bees: by Milo Winter)

Writing Styles and Examples

• These stories tend to begin with one animal or character doing something. (i.e. Once the Fox, a very young Mouse, a wolf, etc.)
• Tend to be short and to the point.
• Not much on setting, unless it is important to the plot (i.e a cliff that a goat falls down)
• Typically animals of prey and predators interacting.
• Ending of these short stories is abrupt and strong with direct ties to the lesson learned. 
• The lesson is listed under each story. I liked this because it made the objective of the story clear.

Lessons I would like to use:

Once a wolf, always a wolf.
Bluff is no proof that hard fists are lacking.
Greediness leads to misfortune.
Honesty is the best policy.
It is wicked to take advantage of another's distress.

Ideas:

• The Farmer and His Sons: combining a story like this with the lessons in Gone with the Wind "land is the only thing that last"

• The Mouse and the Weasel: you can utilize squirrels that keep acorns in their mouth rather than a mouse. Where an older squirrel tells the younger one that he must make trips, but the young squirrel thinking he is strong enough to make it either through a hole, over a river, or up a tree. Regardless the squirrel will lose all his acorns. 

• Mercury and the Woodman: using children and their toys to send the same message that honesty is always better than lying. Or dogs and bones. 

• The Mischievous Dog: use a muzzle or a cat who has been declawed. 

• The Eagle and the Kite: say anything for love

Illustrator:

Milo Winter: American illustrator (Alice in Wonderland, Gulliver's Travels, etc. )

I love these illustrations and they go well with the story!

(Brushtail the Fox: picture by Wikipedia)

Bibliography: 

The Aesop For Children: Winter, translated by unknown, located from UN-Textbook. 

Reading Notes: Aesop (Winter) Part A

Notes: Aesop (Winter) Part A

(The Dogs and The Hides: by Milo Winter)

Reoccurring or Interesting Characters:

[possible character or character story I would like to use in future are highlighted]

Kid: Young goat who is foolish initially and then outsmarts predators to survive. 

Wolf: A strong predator who thinks it is stronger and smarter than all others. 

Fox: Similar to the wolf. Is a wanna be trickster, but typically is deceived by prey. 

Dog and Dolphin: A loyal protector.

Ass: Foolish and stubborn. In attempt to cheat or take easy way out, typically makes situation harder or puts itself in harms way.

Wheel: "complains the loudest, but suffers the least"

Lion and Bear: Prideful and probably the strongest out of the characters. Values itself highly. 

Insects (gnat, fly, grasshopper, etc): Pesky, annoying, and always end up thinking they are going to benefit from a situation that will kill them. 

Monkey: Clown and uses the situation to its advantage. 

Wild Boar: Spends time preparing for the worst.

Lessons I would like to use:

You are judged by the company you keep.

We cannot expect any one to share our misfortunes unless we are willing to share our good fortune also.

Do not resent the remarks of a fool. Ignore them.

Do not let flattery throw you off your guard against an enemy

Do not depend on the promises of those whose interest it is to deceive you.

Do not stop to argue with temptation.

Likes:

• The Wolf and the Kid, The Wolf and the Lean Dog, The Dogs and the Hides
• How each character that was used had specific characteristics to its animal that were used in multiple different stories.
• I liked how to the point these stories were and the variety of messages they contained.
• They were easy to comprehend and quick to read.

Dislikes: 

• I do not like the multiple stories and how they switch in comparison to one long story overall. I could lengthen a story and use that for each page or even having the same story told twice (by two different view points/ characters).

Overall:

I loved this collection of stories more than I thought I would. It is definitely insightful for possible projects in the future and it has given me a wealth of possible stories to recreate. In this case I will utilize the characters and their personalities, along with the lessons told, to create my own story. My favorite story by far was the The Dogs and The Hides, but only because how cute I thought it was. I did not enjoy the lesson. With that said, I may utilize a similar story and change the lesson and the outcome slightly, possibly a never give up kind of lesson. I will have to do more brainstorming on that! 

Bibliography: 

The Aesop For Children: Winter, translated by unknown, located from UN-Textbook.